Thursday, July 11, 2013

I Spy

What with all this talk of Edward Snowden, the fact that he holds no passport, and the fact that U.S. just may have, um, spied on its French ally, it seems like the perfect moment to discuss those little traits that are dead give-aways about what passport you hold, and whether or not you would hold up as a CIA spy in Paris:

How do you eat French fries and hamburgers? With your hands? You're American. The French do it with a fork and knife. Yes -- even the fries, which are, as I've discussed, not necessarily French. Also, as a French person, you would never ask for ketchup. So, if passing as a French person is your espionage duty to protect national security, part of your sacrifice is going to be eating dry fries.


Butter your bread? American. Eat it plain? French.

Gigi speaks perfect French, even according to the French themselves. But more than once I've seen her speaking fluently and then, when she needs to think of something, she says, "Ummmm." Dead give-away. A French person would say "Euhhhh."

Have a question? Raise your hand. Now, tell me: Did you raise your hand with all your fingers extended? Congratulations, you're a real American. Or did you raise your hand with your index finger extended, pointing to the sky? Felicitations, vous êtes un vrai français (in other words, you're French).


And, as I've mentioned before, even if you were living in a Tom Clancy Cold War era novel where you were trained for years to be a mole in France, you would get tripped up when somebody asked you to recite a Jean de la Fontaine poem. Only those raised on "Le Corbeau et Le Renard" can do it full sing-song justice.
 

1 comment:

Steve said...

Elles sont adorables...