The sun is setting earlier, the leaves are starting to fall, and it is time to mourn not just the end of French bathing suit season, but -- perhaps -- the end of a French bathing suit itself.
Yes, it's another posting that discusses the European men's Speedo, which I recently named the Teeny-Weeny Monokini. However, in an epiphany that hit me like a bolt of lightning, I realized I should have titled it the Teeny Weeny MANokini, not MONokini. But are the days of the Banana Hammock, the Grape Smuggler, the Nantucket Nad Bucket, the Ballbushka, the Nugget-Hug-It, the Manberry Pudding Pack, the Daytona Dong Sarong, and the Saint-Tropez Truffle Duffle really over? (In case you're wondering where I got these names: The Internet truly does have everything and more.)
The Manokini's monopoly -- the Manokiniopoly? -- may indeed be over (except, of course, at all public pools, where it is still the only legal option, bien sûr). There are some distinct pros and cons of wearing the "new" American-style bathing suit:
Advantages: Disadvantages:
Comfortable when dry, like shorts Clings to legs when wet, so possibly less
comfortable
Covers more surface area -- Upper thighs cannot get beautifully bronzed
less sunscreening, less sunburning
More room for patterns and designs Obvious when it's last year's pattern
Leaves more to the imagination Can't display one's manhood in all its glory
Looks hip, like a California beach boy Looks sloppy, like a California beach bum
It's not just for the young, but also the young at heart:
Will pants with the crotch down by the knees be next? Uh-oh....too late.
Yes, it's another posting that discusses the European men's Speedo, which I recently named the Teeny-Weeny Monokini. However, in an epiphany that hit me like a bolt of lightning, I realized I should have titled it the Teeny Weeny MANokini, not MONokini. But are the days of the Banana Hammock, the Grape Smuggler, the Nantucket Nad Bucket, the Ballbushka, the Nugget-Hug-It, the Manberry Pudding Pack, the Daytona Dong Sarong, and the Saint-Tropez Truffle Duffle really over? (In case you're wondering where I got these names: The Internet truly does have everything and more.)
The Manokini's monopoly -- the Manokiniopoly? -- may indeed be over (except, of course, at all public pools, where it is still the only legal option, bien sûr). There are some distinct pros and cons of wearing the "new" American-style bathing suit:
Advantages: Disadvantages:
Comfortable when dry, like shorts Clings to legs when wet, so possibly less
comfortable
Covers more surface area -- Upper thighs cannot get beautifully bronzed
less sunscreening, less sunburning
More room for patterns and designs Obvious when it's last year's pattern
Leaves more to the imagination Can't display one's manhood in all its glory
Looks hip, like a California beach boy Looks sloppy, like a California beach bum
It's not just for the young, but also the young at heart:
All of these shots are, indeed, taken this summer on French beaches (Bretagne to be specific). But if you feel like hanging out on a beach in France with a man in an Ouch Pouch is the only way to really feel like you're in Europe, you're still in luck...for now.
Will pants with the crotch down by the knees be next? Uh-oh....too late.
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